According to the Oxford dictionary, a relationship can be defined as “an emotional or other connection, association, or involvement between two or more persons”. So what does our book – the Quran and the many books of Hadith say about the notion of relationships? The Prophet (s) was narrated to have said "Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him maintain the bonds of kinship." [Sahih Al-Bukhari]

Allah created humans with differences. It is the law of creation. Different tongues, different colours, different cultures...all that on the outside. On the inside, humans were created with many degrees of knowledge, intellect, and comprehension of concepts. This is all a sign of Allah's all encompassing power to do whatever He wills:

"And among His signs is the creation of the heavens and the earth, and the variations in your languages and your colours: verily in that are signs for those who know." [30:22]

Humans shall differ, that is not the issue. The issue is: How as a Muslim should one confront these differences of opinions and what should be our relationship with someone of a different opinion.

Muslims the world over claim to love the Messenger of Allah (swt) Muhammad (s), but how much do we truly know about this great man? Ask yourself what comes to mind when you think about the Messenger (s)? Is it how many battles he fought, or how he opened new lands? Have you ever asked yourself how he reacted when his enemies called him a liar, a poet and a madman, or what he did when the people of Taif pelted him with stones until his blood was dripping? Do you wonder how the beloved of Allah (swt) dealt with women, children, the old and those in need? What did he say when he woke up, did he laugh a lot or cry more often, did he joke or not?

The answers to these questions may surprise and even disappoint many. It is beyond the scope of this brief reminder to answer all, however, I challenge you to start your journey through the seerah of the greatest leader.

All of us, being human, experience fluctuations in our level of faith -- denoted by the Arabic word "imaan" -- during the course of our day-to-day lives. It is perfectly normal to experience this. For Muslims, what is faith or "imaan"? It is the belief that resides in our hearts regarding Allah, His revealed Divine books (Quran, Bible, Torah, Abraham's scriptures), His Prophets, His angels, His Divine Decree (or what is more commonly knows as "fate"), and the Last Hour or Last Day (when all humans will be resurrected for account-taking of their actions).

There are times when certain events in our lives make us doubt the existence or omnipotence of any of the above epicenters of belief. For example, someone might challenge our knowledge, especially if it is lacking, about why bad things happen to good people if God really exists; why criminals roam scot-free in this world after committing heinous injustices; why some people die of starvation while others have so much wealth that they can live 20 lifetimes on it, etc. At other times, questions about the Unseen (known in Arabic as "ghaib") pop up in our minds, and when we do not find answers, we follow our doubts and slowly move away from firm conviction of imaan to dwindling, half-hearted faith. That is the code red.

Limitations in Relationships

A very common question I often hear from many young people is why are Muslims not allowed to ‘date’ and "If they don't date, how do they decide whom to marry?"

"Dating" as it is currently practiced in much of the world does not exist among Muslims -- where a young man and woman (or boy/girl) are in a one-on-one intimate relationship, spending time together alone, "getting to know each other" in a very deep way before deciding whether that's the person they will marry. Rather, in Islam pre-marital relationships of any kind between members of the opposite sex are forbidden.

However, I’ll try my best not to spend the next 500 words that the editor of this magazine gave me emphasising on this point and telling you again that same message that our parents have drilled into our heads since as long as we can remember but rather go beyond that and help you work out how to have relationships in the real world.

An Invitation to the House of Allah: No Booking or RSVP Required

During the Crusades, a Muslim woman who was praying in the masjid listened to the khutbah on jihad, so she cut off her braids and went to the Imam asking him to use them as a bridle. Such a move aroused men’s enthusiasm and motivated them to fight. And this spirit was one of the reasons behind defeating the occupation forces.

Many times we think of the purpose of the masjid as restricted to being a place for performing Islamic rituals and we forget that it also plays an important social and political role. Congregation prayers teach people unity and the masjid serves as a meeting place where people can discuss issues affecting the Muslim community and try to find solutions for them.

The prophet (pbuh) said, “When you see a person frequenting the mosque testify that he is a believer, because Allah says: “Allah’s masajids are visited only by those who believe in Allah and the Last Day.” [Tawbah: 18] [at-Tirmidhi]

When problems occur in the community we should know how to interact with them, rather than sit aside as if they have nothing to do with us. Unfortunately our community has had a number of problems recently – some of them small and some of them big.

Interaction with a particular problem might allow us to contribute something useful and positive to resolving it or benefit from trying to understand the causes for it. We might also be able to see Allah’s wisdom and justice in running the affairs of his servants.

Verses 102-105 of Surat Ali-`Imraan guides the believers to a number of attributes that will help maintain their unity in the face of problems and warns of the opposite. The believers are called to have taqwa in Allah (fear, piety, etc), which will in turn lead them to brotherhood and love. While it warns that division could result in them loosing their faith and suffering both in this world and in the hereafter.

Verse 104 specifically encourages the believers to be amongst those who are problem solvers and reconcilers – they invite to what is good and forbid what is wrong. They will then be the best of nations characterised by this ability to promote what is right over what is wrong.

The term “In-laws” tends to have a negative connotation associated with it, particularly within western society. Many television programs and movies have created around the intricacies of this wondrously intriguing relationship with all its dimensions and permutations.

I would venture to guess that the majority of our readers have parents that were not born in Australia. Due to this fact coupled with our cultural influences we tend to have a stronger bond with our families, particularly after marriage in comparison to an average western family.

This places a greater emphasis on the importance of one’s relationship with their in-laws. So why is it such a struggle to get along with in-laws for so many married couples?

Allah says in the Quran; “Thus We relate to you (O Muhammad) some information of what happened before. And indeed We have given you from Us a Reminder (this Qur'an)”. (Ta-Ha, 99)

Stories are an important part of human development. They instruct us on morals, entertain us and teach us about other people’s lives. In the Quran, there are many different types of stories. Amongst them are stories of previous prophets and messengers and their stories, stories of previous nations and pious individuals who weren’t prophets and of course stories of incidents that happened during the life of the prophet Muhammad.

Since the first web page was designed a mere two decades ago, the internet has provided millions of people the opportunity to do a ‘crash course’ in whatever field, study or interest they desire. Today, a search for the word "Islam" on Google yields links to thousands of sites featuring everything from shopping to sermons to "Web-muftis" who provide answers to theological and legal questions. The Web allows almost anyone to air a broad range of views and perspectives -- and much of the resulting discussion and debate can be found in online forums and chat rooms.

Muslims of all ages have turned to the Internet looking for answers or inspiration about their faith. What they have found has been a diverse Islamic world. However, some say the Internet has also altered consensus-building among the jummah, or major Islamic forces. What used to take decades, even centuries to agree on -- interpretations in the Koran, for example -- has been accelerated by the Internet's ability to give instant access to the teachings and thoughts of distant Islamic scholars and original texts. Practices, laws and beliefs once bound by geography are evolving into a mainstream Muslim identity -- on Internet time.

The Prophet (s) said "Among lawful things, divorce is most hated by Allah.". Although divorce in Islam in frowned upon, Islam does allow a couple to end their relationship if attempts to reconcile fail.

Allah, in His infinite wisdom, recognised that some people would be ill-suited for one another. Rather than force them to live together in a farce of a marriage, divorce is allowed. However, divorce is not something to be taken lightly; it is to be used as a last resort. In fact, getting a divorce without a valid reason is considered a sin.

Although the phrase "irreconcilable differences" is overused in our culture, those are the only differences that would necessitate a divorce. If there is hope of reconciliation, you must seek that first. Divorce should not even be considered until all positive avenues have been explored. Only problems that cause such anger, bitterness and hatred that marriage becomes impossible should lead to divorce.